so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize