I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
