If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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