woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize