I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
