Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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