I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
