tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize