whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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