It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
