the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
