So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
