so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
