Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
