I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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