The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
