he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
