U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
