yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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