I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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