I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
