Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
