We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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