Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
