so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
They took my balls.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
