He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
