If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
