but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
