why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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