bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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