So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
