Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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