On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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