The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
