are you still at the devil's house?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
