ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
