If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
