i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He felt like a one man threesome
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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