It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
