absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize