i barfeds in our rink
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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