She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
