There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
