that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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