Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize