Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
