white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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