you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
