Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
