Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
