I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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