he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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