Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
