Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
