Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
