"it" just moved
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
