I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
