If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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