Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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